Rejection

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness & peace for those who have been trained by it...."    Hebrews 12:11

She rounded the corner back by the deli, she could feel the weight of fatigue leaning against her arm. Naptime was approaching early today for her youngest.  She pressed the shopping cart forward a little faster, knowing the moments of contentment were fleeting quickly. 

His eyes met hers for a brief moment, a kind smile on his face. 
She offered back a knowing smile as she quickly walked by.

The fatigue in her youngest had now settled into all of them, as they rounded into the last stretch of isles. 

There he was again.
This time his smile was missing. 

Of course it was. 
They were a far cry from a pleasant sight. 
Patience, perseverance, and peace had departed them all. 
An inevitable meltdown was brewing. 
Everyone around her knew it as well as she did. 

She felt a sinking feeling as she headed toward the checkout.





The checkout isles were busy. 
Waiting was inevitable. 
She found her place in line as the sinking feeling grew.

Her youngest grew louder, protesting the change in his mothers focus, as she and the others began unloading the cart.  As they finished up, she went to try to comfort her youngest, although she now was burning inside.  She glanced up.  There he was again.  Kind smile still missing, now busying himself with browsing the checkout candy.  Why did he have to choose this line?  There were others! 

Just then the "I wants..." began.  One lead to another and it spread faster than an infectious disease.

Her sinking feeling was gone. 
Now she was drowning.

She could feel him looking at her over her shoulder.  She hesitated in her response, and their demands grew.  She had never gave in at the checkout when her children were behaving like this before, but today she was condsidering it. 

She knew it would bring a moment of peace. 
Sweet peace. 

He saw her hesitation.  He knew the battle well.  It had been years, but he had fought the same one.  The grandpa in him wanted to cave for her, but wisdom in him knew it would only be short lived.  So he prayed instead.  "Lord, help her to choose the greater, and reward them at a better time...."

Fortunately, it was their turn to move up to the register.

Out of sight.
Out of mind.
....she hoped.

She pressed the cart forward.  The whining grew louder.  Somehow, she gathered her thoughts and resolve.  "I would be happy to get you a treat sometime, but I can't when you have been behaving like this," she said.

There she said it.
She stood up a little taller.
Now if she could find the strength to actually see it through.

The spirit of rejection that was pressing down on her shoulder went back to find it's favorite striking place.  The last few isles.  It wouldn't have to wait long.

But it wasn't enough.
There were two.
Another had joined her at the checkout.
It was still pressing down on her other shoulder.

The whining turned from pouting to tears quickly.  As she loaded up her cart to exit as quickly as possible, she felt him touch her shoulder.  "Ma'am..." he said.  As she blinked heavily, she pivoted around slowly.

"I just wanted to tell you that your doing a great job."  he said.  "I know it doesn't feel like it in moments like these, but you did the right thing."

"Thanks."  she said.
She stood up a little taller.

He opened his wallet and handed the older kids a bill.  "Next time, when your mom says it's okay, you may have a treat on me.... but you have to be good helpers, and behave well first.  I believe you can do it.  Not just in the store, but all the way home too."

"Yes, sir...." they replied.

The light was too much for it.  The second spirit that had met her at the checkout flew away out the door.  It wasn't going to waste it's time there, when it knew another battle would be close at hand in the parking lot.  It would wait there.

She finished loading her bags.
Her youngest was still a mess.

But she was no longer burning up inside anymore.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  Ephesians 6:12

Fear of the Unknown

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Romans 8:28

 

She awoke and eased off her hospital bed.  Her sore body ached all the more from another night away from her own bed.  She gently stretched and made her way around the room glancing out the windows and thankful for a beautiful morning.  Simple little pleasures like morning anew were now in greater focus than ever before.  She was eager to take a walk outside, but for now the hospital halls would have to do. 

She slipped her feet into her new pair of cozy slippers.

As she made her way to the door, her reflection in the mirror stopped her.  For a moment, she had forgotten about them.  About it.  But they were there nonetheless reminding her of the battle she was fighting. 

Bandages. 

Freshly wrapped.  Covering what still remained unseen.  She froze in fear, pulling her robe aside, wondering what successful would really look like.  The words her surgeon whispered kindly echoed through her mind.  "Everything was successful.... now rest."

Rest. 

She glanced at her hospital bed.  Although her gaze changed, her thoughts did not.  The unknown road ahead consumed her thoughts.  Her sore body would heal.  Wounds would turn to scars.  Bandages would come off.  Successful would be seen.  Visible to her..... visible to her husband.  Treatment.  Tests.  Scans.  Waiting... endless waiting.  Fear.  Unknowns.

She found herself glancing out the window again.  The beautiful morning that beckoned her gratitiude was now dim as she was sinking in her own thoughts.  She sat on the edge of her bed, and only felt numb.

Reaching up, she pressed the dial turning off her car radio. 

The noise was too much this morning.  Talk show small talk was the last thing on her mind.  Her friend remained at the forefront of her thoughts for the past several days.  Not speaking with her directly made everything worse.  Her husband said she was doing well, but how was she really doing?  How was she really feeling?

She parked her car and headed for the elevator.

She pressed the elevator button, knowing she needed to regain perspective for the day.  "Lord," she prayed, "Thank you for this day.  Thank you for life.  I know you are in control of all things, and work everything together for the good of those who love you.  Help my friend believe that today.  Replace all her deepest fears with a deeper trust in You.  Heal her body, and heal her fears.  I love you Lord, give us both strength this day.  Amen."

Heaven touched the earth in that place.

In her hospital room, her friend blinked rapidly, regaining focus on the beautiful morning.  The spirit of fear the loosened it's grip on her, and moved on to find another to numb.  She fastened her robe across her sore body and stood up.  She raised her chin up at bit, feeling a little lighter than before as she thought again about the long road ahead.  "Just today," she resolved.  "Just today."  Her thoughts were interrupted with a knock at the door.

"You have some company." 

Her friend walked in.  Extending an arm for a hug, she walked over and held her friends head as she rested it on her shoulder.  "I'm so glad to see you...." she whispered through the emotion in her throat.

And the healing tears began to fall.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."  Ephesians 6:12